DKC Atlas Forum

[Tiptup Jr.]

What's up guys.

So lately I've been getting calls on my cell phone from a girl who claims to go by the name of "Jessica Smith". She says she used to sit behind me in History when I lived in Michigan, and she had a crush on me before I moved to Alabama but never got to act on it before I left. She usually calls from a restricted number at odd hours of the night (like, really late- for some reason I'm always still up though, I think she's watching me) and I think she's probably not who she says she is. She really sounds like a Southern girl trying to put on a Northern accent, but it just doesn't work for her- she has also referred to various aspects of my personality that didn't develop until after I moved, and she instinctively calls me "Tim" instead of "Timmy" (if she really knew me from the north, she'd say Timmy.) Just now she asked me if I knew her sister, to which I replied no, and then she hung up to take care of her "dog". She called back a few minutes later offering to perform various inappropriate acts upon my genitals (which I wasn't entirely opposed to), but then hung up. I have just now realized that she must live nearby if she is truly within driving distance of a self-imposed booty call. I'm serious and this isn't a joke- I am truly at an internal and mental conflict here. What do I do, DKC Atlas? Does anyone have anything to say about this? Please???

[Qyzbud]

Uhm... I'm gonna go ahead and say this probably isn't the best place to ask for such help. That's pretty weird though... I would talk to your parents if I were you.

Best of luck.

[BlueTronic]

I'm pretty much repeating what Qyz said, but seriously: this is a DKC fansite, what could we do? Summon Donkey Kong to attack her?

Lock your doors, tell your parents, call the police.

[Tiptup Jr.]

Eh, I really don`t think it`s worth calling the police over (I could probably handle a 15-year old girl) and I`m sorry for spouting off about it here- I was on the Atlas last night when Miss Smith called and it was the first thing that came to mind. On second thought... this is a Donkey Kong Country fansite. Excuse me.

But Donkey Kong could probably take her, huh? And at least I`m sexy enough to have a psychotic girl calling me at 1 o` clock in the morning.

[Jomingo]

Look, first I'm going to repeat the point that this isn't the best place to ask this question, not only because it's a DKC fansite, but also because forums don't always return replies as quickly as you might need for something like this.

Next, she is probably a girl from your school who is either messing with you or she really has a crush on you. If you can figure out who it is, then you should confront her. If it sounds like someone older than you probably have a more serious issue. I would suggest not answering the phone at odd hours, and if the issue persists and/or escalates than you should tell your parents who should then call the local police. And if you can work it out somewhere in there, you should probably tell her that you aren't interested in her doing anything to your genitals, and that she should send the genital pleasure my way instead. Just kidding, never discuss genitals with strangers on the phone at odd hours of the night.

[Tiptup Jr.]

Alright, I think she screwed up and forgot to block the number before she called earlier, but then hung up before I answered. Obviously there's no way of proving this was her, but then she had a friend (who is also a friend of mine) call me and act like nothing was going on and they were both sitting on the couch.

...but of course, I could be wrong. It's still probably someone I wouldn't want touching my genitals, but next time she calls I'll be sure to point her in your direction, Joe Minga.

[gamer_boy997]

Jomingo pretty much said everything: It's a girl who lives nearby, she has a crush on you/likes to creep you out, and if you can find out who it is, you can take the rest from there .

I don't think you should call the police though . It's not like she has plans to break into your house and rob you (but she might break in to... nevermind... ), but you should talk to your parents about it and see if they can help.

[DK4Ever]

I'm pretty much repeating what Qyz said, but seriously: this is a DKC fansite, what could we do? Summon Donkey Kong to attack her?

We could totally do that, guys.

Anyway, I'd agree that this is certainly something in need of legal action...maybe tell your parents or the police or somethin.

Or, if it turns out she really is who she says she is (Extremely unlikely), or someone who is similar, or harmless....then...maybe..

Go with it. Genital attention can be good...unless of course, she IS someone who you wouldn't like touching your genitals.

But yes, serious matter probably requires serious attention.

I'm off to practice my Donkey Kong summoning incantations, nonetheless.

[BlueTronic]

I found it ironic that everyone seconded the notion that this isn't a good place to ask for this kind of help, yet quite a few people are jumping in to give advice on the situation.

[Kiddy14]

Interesting...
We were talking about insecurity in Biology class (yeah...), and how the US has all of these weird cases.
Maybe it's because we're not used to that in here; if you ever see a car accident with a car turned over you would go all like ¡=O! We don't even like them so those notices are extremely brief. So we were talking how in the US Hollywood-like Car Chases are so common there are TV programs dedicated to them!

In any case, the best solutions there are have already been posted here.

[DK4Ever]

I found it ironic that everyone seconded the notion that this isn't a good place to ask for this kind of help, yet quite a few people are jumping in to give advice on the situation.

Well it's just not quite as much fun to dismiss an issue like this without talking about it a LITTLE....

[Rodent]

Ptthpthh! I can't believe Tiptup bought it! :P

Seriously, there's no need for legal action. Apparently a girl is interested in you and is ringing you late at night. She's probably interested, or someone is just taking the piss. I'd go along with it if it's someone you know. If not, ignore it.

[cfh]

I admit it, it was me. I love you deeply Tiptup Jr, and I want to do various fetishy things to your delicious genitals.

[Simion32]

*facepalm*

Not entirely sure what was going on here, but this topic is useless now.

*LOCK*