DKC Atlas Forum

[SmudgeKWOOD]

And Diddy killed Gnawty with a cracker. He then hacked...

[Katastrophe Kong]

DKC Atlas and named it Gnawty Atlas, everyone got mad so they banned him...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...and got his tail chopped off by...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...a giant pair of siscors, he got so sad he ran home to his mom's house. When his mom saw him she was so sickened that she threw up all of her internal organs and died. Gnawty was horrified, so he went to a skyscrapper and jumped...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...And ate Donkey King's...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...last ice cream bar, Donkey Kong was so mad he sent Gnawty to the store to buy some more, while at Savemart Gnawty saw Diddy, he tried to hide behind some carts but...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

...Diddy pulled out his peanut gun and shot him. BUT, there was no ammo. So, Gnawty put a knife in his side. Dixie was watching, and she was SOOOOOOOOO mad she...

[CoolStyleE]

Got into the Gyrocopter and dropped a huge bomb on the store which killed Diddy, (Along with Gnawty, yay!) which made Dixie REALLY mad at herself, so, without a parachute, she jumped off...

[The Guy]

... and landed on a innocent bystander who asploded, killing them both.

Somehow, that event made the Gnawty come back alive again, so he went...

[Jomingo]

...to the bathroom. He missed, and accidentally peed on...

[The Guy]

... a ton of flammable oil on the toilet seat.

Suddenly a flare came through the window and...

[SmudgeKWOOD]

The bathroom blew up, killing Gnawty, which made his dad mad, so he locked Candy into the trunk of his car and pushed it off the edge of the Grand Canyon, killing her, which made DK mad, so he slit Gnawty`s dads...

This thread is getting violent...

[CoolStyleE]

It is getting violent... and it`s gonna get worse...

...toenail, (Cause he was drunk off a fifth of vodka) which made Gnawty`s dad`s toe bleed but laugh, and then clawed DK, but missed, so DK threw Gnawty`s dad in the back of his car, noted in his journal, "...but I didn`t hurt him by any means, but threw him in the trunk..." and drove off a bridge and drowned, which was on the news...

I`m gonna fill in the blank that was never filled:
New And Happy City

[SmudgeKWOOD]

I`ll try to avoid crazy violence here.

...even in New And Happy City, where Chunky and Kiddy were staying, in which they both wondered how it felt to be cut, so they cut themselves, but Chunky cut his neck, and accidentally killed himself while Kiddy lived cause he cut himself...

[CoolStyleE]

Confusion error for Smudge: should be "...cut his..."
...toenail, then walked to the door but tripped on Funky`s pet...

[The Guy]

... which was a red Gnawty who was related to the one previously mentioned throughout this thread. He told me to bump this old thread.

Meanwhile, Diddy was peeling a banana when suddenly...

[teh epicnes]

...King K.Rool destroyed Funky's flights and...

[Gaz]

Gnawty asked the doctor for surgery to revive his tail and...

(This thread broke my heart. This is mean ;(.)

[Super Luigi!]

... the doctor told Gnawty, "Nein!", so Gnawty brought in 9 more Kremcoins...

[Gaz]

REPLACED BELOW (PLEASE DELETE THIS COMMENT).

[Gaz]

and the doctor was supposed to help, but wanted more, making Gnawty...

[Geno]

...eat the doctor's dinner, which made the doctor so mad, he kicked Gnawty into...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...outer space (as the doctor was a former East German Olympic tinfoil medal winner). Gnawty realized that if he didn't find a helmet soon, he'd suffocate. He floated as fast as his little beaver hands could take him to the nearest Space Grocery store and tried to by a jar of pickles, but the store would not accept his Banana coins unless they were converted into Republic Credits. Gnawty had to think fast, so he...

[Geno]

... kicked the cashier in the groin, and ran out of the store with the pickles. However, outside the store, he confronted a very angry...

[Gaz]

undead mother of his who...

[Geno]

... smacked him with her undead purse as she told him not to steal. The Gnawty, then...

[Gaz]

...was confused as the purse slipped right through him and...

[Geno]

.. broke the jar of pickles, kept flying, and knocked down the world's biggest tower of DKC2 SNES carts. Klubba, who was building it, got angry and...

[Gaz]

was determined to find out who did it so he can...

[Geno]

... murder them with his collection of 350 DKC2 SNES manuals. The Gnawty, knowing that is was sort of his fault, went ...

[Ninni973]

... to Kokiri Forest back on Earth to grab a ....

[Gaz]

gigantic sword which he would use to...

[Geno]

... knock Klubba further into space. IT didn't work, though, and...

[Gaz]

the Klubba Mafia came after poor little Gnawty to...

[Axis]

..rebuild his original tail with bionics because they claimed to have the technology..

(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edhh90ZN1RE)
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR_IOittp70)
LOL

[Geno]

... and they added built in WiFI into the tail because that's what people do now to ALL of their products. The Gnawty, who had his new, WiFi enabled tail, went...

[Gaz]

go see his father so he may...

[Geno]

... finally allow his dad to DO AN INTERNET! When he got there...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...his father and his reborn mother were standing in the doorway, each with an issue of "Monkeys Gone Bad" in their chubby beaver hands. Gnawty stopped like a deer in headlights - they found his stash under his bed. He turned from his home and ran as fast as he could, his parents hot on his heels. He had to think of a hiding place, so he ran down the street to his good friend...

[Geno]

... Diddy Kong, who promptly shot him with his peanut popguns, causing the Gnawty to...

[Gaz]

wonder why Diddy mistook him for an enemy,so Gnawty...

[Katastrophe Kong]

...jumped out the window and climbed Diddy's fence to go find a different hiding spot. He was almost to his friend Necky's house, until he was hit in the back of the head by an industrial sized can of...

[Axis]

..whoop ass from Dumb Drum who didn't forget that Gnawty signed his soul away into his enemy roster years ago and so..

[Katastrophe Kong]

...Gnawty was sucked into a "generic Japanese RPG" style boss battle. Dumb Drum had made the first move with his "Drum Toss" attack, dealing a nutritious 15 damage points. Gnawty, who had always been a fan of jigsaw puzzles, had never played an RPG game before and simply mashed the buttons out of nervous anxiety. Unknowingly, he activated the game's "Instant Kill" code from the debug menu and Dumb Drum was killed instantly, giving Gnawty 100 gold and the "Drum of Doom" secondary weapon. When he spawned back in the streets where he had been hit by the can of whoop ass, he was assaulted by his parents who had finally caught up to him. They proceeded to give him a firm...

[Axis]

..roadkill attempt on their millstones because every qualifed Gnawty with a millstone license was privileged to use their millstone over self-defense reasons in requital purposes. Immediately everything slowed down, slower than the matrix while Gnawty looked around during the impending doom of two Gnawty parents in millstones ready to roadkill their only Gnawty because he felt like this was his last hour alive. Out of nowhere..

[Katastrophe Kong]

...flies in Man of Popsicle. He swoops down and grabs Gnawty by the conkers just as the rolling millstones were about to squash him. "Evil doers!" shouts Man of Popsicle, he then proceeds to shoot popsicles out of what appeared to be an ice cream gatling gun. The frozen deserts spray right into the center of the millstones- Gnawty's parents are knocked out and into the road. Then, a large hummer tears down the road and turns the two beevers into pancakes. I mean LITERALLY, INTO, PANCAKES. THEY ARE FLAPJACKS WITH MELTED BUTTER AND LOG CABIN SYRUP POURED ONTO THEM. Man of Popsicle quickly shoves the breakfasts into his tights and flies into the sky saying "If it's Popsicle, it's possible!". Gnawty waddles away into the sunshine singing...

[Axis]

.."It's raining men" by the weather girls, Gnawty has been a female this entire time , as she waddled away the sun immediately went down by the end of the level hse was in because she's still stuck in DKC effects so she attempted to rewrite the game's code in order to let him...

[Katastrophe Kong]

... explore the world open-endedly. Gnawty wasn't very hack-literate so she actually ended up hacking herself out of the game! When she saved the changes she made to the game, she was instantly spawned into a completely white area with only a banner reading "Dead End" and a George Washington bobble-head sitting on a red loafer. Gnawty goes into a panic and starts running around trying to find a way to get back home when suddenly...

[Chibisai Kong]

...a wild Miku appears, prompting the Gnawty to...

(I'm... Not really understandng this thread.)

[Katastrophe Kong]

...fall in love with Miku. He tries to win her over by making inappropriate comments about her "assets". Miku cannot understand his English so she creates a portal using her magical powers and flies through. Gnawty sees this as an opportunity to finally get that pickle jar he needed, so he flew into the portal just as it was closing- but he got stuck halfway. He looked around and realized he was in downtown Tokyo. He became scared because he wasn't sure if he could find a jar of pickles at a decent price in Japan. A crowd of bystanders formulated at the Beever stuck in a magic portal in the middle of the street. They were amazed at this strange sight and cheered...