First of all, I stumbled across this 'poster' and thought it was pretty cool, hehehe.
Anyway, thanks for pointing out your problems with the script. To everyone else reading this topic, please tell me how you think it could be improved.
As for your problems with the script:
Also Gwaties should have less fear.
Sure thing. Maybe you could instead show your scene with the army of Gnawties and Slippas marching outside DK's house. I do like that scene.
like that little wannabe Diddy obviously did...
From the manuals, I got the idea that Cranky thinks very little of Diddy (at least until DKC2). Diddy learning to stand on his own outside of DK's shadow could be part of his character development.
Way on at the end, during the celebration party, the movie will end with Diddy catching a glimpse of Dixie across the room. She notices him too, and smiles at him.
Is there a particular reason you highlighted this part? I thought it would be a great way to end the movie, and is a nice lead-on into the canon of DKC2.
I'm just a little stuck to the scenes how it is so far. I hate going backwards.
I know what you're getting at, and don't mean to diminish your work in any way. I just feel that my sequence would create more of a 'hook' to get viewers interested. But I really do like what you have done so far
I would also like to achieve a more 'mature' sense of humour here - not slapstick and stupidity from the characters. Maybe something along the lines of
Avatar: The Last Airbender.
I personally would find a 'cartoony approach' - where the bumbling villian is thwarted by the heroes over and over again - boring and formulaic. I found K. Rool to be an intimidating villian - at least until DK64 came out - and would like to capture that in his personality. He will have his comedic moments though, of course
My rough idea for the movie would be something like this:
Cranky, Funky and Candy see DK off. He sets off through the jungle following the trail of dropped bananas, and eventually comes across Klump and a number of Kremlings who are carrying a barrel, from which he can hear Diddy calling out from. DK jumps down and battles the Kremlings, freeing Diddy.
They follow the trail of bananas to a cave, where they are ambushed by the Kremlings. They flee and jump into a minecart, and the Kremlings give chase in another cart. DK will comment that perhaps the trail of bananas was a trap.
With some fancy steering, the Kongs manage to lose their pursuers (there could be a comedic scene where the Kremlings' cart comes flying out of a cave, only to find themselves suspended in midair above a sheer drop into the ocean. Then gravity would take hold
). The Kongs leave the mine and find themselves in Vine Valley, where they would have a run-in with the Orangutang Gang, who mention that the Kremlings' base of operations is in a strange factory on top of the mountain.
Night falls, and we are introduced to K. Rool and learn of his plot.
The Kongs make their way up the snowy mountain, avoid some Zingers and arrive at Kremkroc, where they come across Krusha and a large crowd of Kremlings loading bananas into carts to be incinerated in the furnaces. DK and Diddy quickly put a stop to that, and learn of Gangplank Galleon.
They sneak down to the beach and find the pirate galleon moored just offshore. They sneak out to it, confront K. Rool and defeat him in epic fashion. Cut to celebration party, complete with banana milkshakes and all.
I imagine something like this would be ~15-20 mins, give or take.