DKC Atlas Forum

[gamer_boy997]

I love this one!
This is a joke you can play on others:

You: I can make you say 21!
Guy: Okay.
You: What's 30+1?
Guy: 31.
You: HA! Made you say it!
Guy: But you said 21!
You: Gotcha.

Sometimes it doesn't work...

I have heard something almost the same:

You: I can make you say black!
Guy: Okay.
You: Name the colors of the American Flag.
Guy: Red, white, blue.
You: See! I told you I could make you say blue!
Guy: But you said black!
You: See! I told you I could make you say black!

[Jomingo]

A similar one:
Would you like to take the Stupid Test?
-Sure.
What's the opposite of down?
-Up.
What color is the sky?
-Blue.
What do chickens lay?
-Eggs.
What was the first question I asked you?
-Um...What's the opposite of down!
No, it was "Would you like to take the stupid test!"

[Soniccuz]

This one’s from a comedian’s comedy routine I heard once:

Wife: So how was your doctor's appointment?

Husband: Terrible, simply terrible!

Wife: What's wrong?

Husband: The doctor told me I had to take a pill everyday for the rest of my life!

Wife: So, lots of people have to take a pill everyday for the rest of their lives.


Husband: I know but, he only gave me four!

[gamer_boy997]

Spoiler!

There's another one I heard:
You: What's your name?
Person: [their name]
You: What's the color of the sky?
Person: Blue
You: what's the opposite of down?
Person: Up
You: [their name] blew up!

Example: Let's pretend the person's name was Fishy, it's not a real name but we'll use it.
Fishy blew up!

There are many different versions of this.

Spoiler!

EDIT: Here's another joke:
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Person: What's the good news?
Doctor: Well, you're about to have a desease named after you.

Spoiler!

EDIT 2: Another joke:
You: Will you remember me in 5 seconds?
Person: Of course!
You: Knock Knock!
Person: Who's there?
You: You forgot me!

Spoiler!

EDIT 3: Once again, another joke:
There's this man riding a horse, the only way to make it go was say "Praise the Lord!" and the only way to make it stop was say "Amen!"
Man: Praise the Lord!
Man: Oh no! I'm running towards a mountain at high speed! Stop! Please!
Man: (He says a quick prayer, at the end...) Amen!
Man: (He stops right before the mountain) Praise the Lord!
You should know what happens next...

I put the Spoiler tabs in, so it won't stretch the page. Each spoiler tab is a different joke.

[BlueTronic]

Man #1: Knock knock.
Man#2: Come in!
Man #1: No. Say "Who's there?"
Man #2: Who's there?
Man #1: Boo.
Man #2: Come in, Boo.
Man #1: No, say "Boo who?"
Man #2: Don't cry, it's just a joke!

[Jomingo]

Spoiler!

OK, so a guy goes into a hooker house looking for some "action". But, once he arrives he realises that there are no woman there. He asks the guy there where he get get some "action", and the guy says, "Well, there's Old Jim out back. The man leaves dissapointed, saying that he doesn't go for that kinda thing. So he comes back the next day and is greeted with the same dilema, but leaves again, again saying he doesn't go for that kinda thing. He returns once more, and realising how desparate he was, he asks the man, "Okay, where is Old Jim?." The man replies, "Oh, he's through this door with the four other guys." The man says, "Why are there four other guys in there?", and the other man replies, "To hold him down, Old Jim doesn't go for that kinda thing either."

[DKCplayer]

A blonde (Sigh, another blonde joke) went to work and went to her workstation crying. The boss came in and saw her crying.
Boss: What's wrong?
Blonde: My mother died this morning *Wipes away tear*
Boss: That's too bad... you should have a day off today.
Blonde: No, working will get my mind off it.
Boss: Okay.

So an hour later, she was fine but another hour later after a phone call she was crying again.
Boss: What was that about?
Blonde: *Sobbing*
Boss: What's the matter?
Blonde: This is a bad day for me... my sister rang...
Boss: And...
Blonde: She said her mother died too... *Sobs*

[BlueTronic]

I saw the most hilarious Star Wars commersial just a half hour ago.

Darth Vader was playing golf and when he hit the ball, he noticed it wasn't going in the right direction, so he used the force to make it go in the hole. One golfer said "You gotta be kidding me! It's the same crap every hole! I'm not payin' him! ". Darth Vader started force choking the golfer and then another golfer grabbed a golf club and started walking towards Darth Vader to hit him with it. Darth Vader pulled out his Light Saber and then the guy with the club stopped walking toward him.

Then it said on the screen: "Good competition can bring out the dark side anyone."

[Tiptup Jr.]

That sounds like the most hilarious commercial ever made.

[CaptainEddie]

I watched that on Youtube. It was hilarious!

[BlueTronic]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=xBXqR70ME8E